Talking About Money at Home: Why So Many Families Don't

Many families don't talk about money at home. There's shame, fear of worrying the kids or the idea that it's a grown-up topic. These reasons are understandable, but they have a cost. Ron Lieber (The Opposite of Spoiled) argues that silence about money doesn't protect children: it leaves them to imagine the worst or learn from elsewhere.

How to do it: one sentence a week

1. Talk about one purchase from this week and say why you made it: "I bought this because we needed it."
2. Ask something simple: "What do you think this costs?" Accept short answers; conversation is built through repetition.
3. Start with one sentence a week if you're afraid of saying too much. Regularity matters more than amount.

You don't need to share household problems or talk in numbers: it's enough to show how you decide.

What it's for

For your child: they stop imagining the worst, and gain vocabulary and security. They feel trusted and part of the family team. For you: you break a silence that is sometimes inherited, and the topic stops weighing like a secret; it's often a relief to say out loud what you decide.

What the research says

Fletcher and Wright (2024) found that children aged 4 to 6 whose parents talk about how they spend have financial understanding about 10% higher, and that about 20% of parents in their sample never talk about money with their children; it's a relationship, not a cause. Gudmunson and Danes (2011) add that parents' intent and the quality of the relationship matter more than the amount of information.

What you'll see over time

• First weeks: they answer in short, sometimes wrong, phrases; they ask more.
• Three to six months: they ask for explanations ("why not?") and use your words to explain a purchase.
• Long term: they grow up with money as a normal topic of conversation, not a taboo.

Signs it's working

They ask you about purchases; they mention prices on their own; and the topic no longer creates awkward silence. If there's no response, don't push: change the question or the moment (the car, dinner) and come back the next week.